On a certain Rogue Jedi Master

During Church today, a most curious thought crossed my mind. I had watched the three original episodes of the Star Wars saga recently, though not the prequels, which is a pity because I really did like Episode 1, mainly thanks to a certain Jedi Master. However, it was during today’s sermon when, while singing a hymn, I thought, “I wish I could be more like Qui-Gon.” Which, now that I think of it, really does make sense.

This is because Qui-Gon is known as a maverick by the members of the Jedi Council. He holds some rather unorthodox views (such as believing in the living force rather than the unifying force, which is what Yoda and some of the other council members follow), and he frequently clashes with the Jedi council as a result. One such clash resulted because he felt that there should not be age-limits when it came to training new Jedi. As a result, he never really ascended to any real leadership position in the Jedi Order; he became a master because he trained an apprentice to knighthood, but that’s about it. He never did get to be a member of the Jedi Council as a result, even though he was revered and respected by most Jedi.

As a result, Qui-Gon reminds me of those people who believe that Christianity should not be treated as a religion, but rather, a relationship with God, and yes, I have to agree with that as well. The main reason why the Jedi Order failed in the first place,  was because they refused to change and evolve with the times, after the old Sith Wars. In fact, according to Yoda, they were training to fight that same old Sith War that happened thousands of years ago, rather than a current Sith War, which was why they were unable to smell out a Sith from right under their noses. They relied on their own traditions and orthodox principles rather than pay attention to what was going on around them.

And, this is something that I want to avoid. Being in a Methodist Church, there are traditions that I have to follow, such as, the singing of hymns, Holy Communion among others. I do like Church though, and I still am trying to find some way in which I can serve, so that I can contribute to the Church (it’s like being in a guild; as long as I’m in a guild, I would want to contribute in some way or other), but I have to remember that I must concentrate on my relationship with God, and to listen out for God’s still, small voice, similar to paying attention to the living force rather than the dictates of the Jedi council.

At the same time, I do understand the consequences of such a decision; if I was in a church that did not follow God’s will, I guess I wouldn’t be able to really rise to a position of leadership, similar to the way Qui-Gon was denied a place on the council twice. But at the end of the day, in the Star Wars Saga, Qui-Gon was actually proven right. Anakin Skywalker did turn out to be the chosen one, but he had to turn to the dark side and become Darth Vader before this could happen, which was probably why even Obi-Wan Kenobi lost faith in him. In fact, Luke Skywalker’s new Jedi Order is actually based on the principles that Qui-Gon followed. And, more importantly, Qui-Gon actually died before the Jedi realised that he had been on the right track; similar to the fact that people might think that I am wrong and I’ll get discouraged and all that.

At the end of the day, I have to remember that it is what God thinks of me that matters, not the opinions of other people. More importantly, I have to remember to pay closer attention to what God has to say, rather than the opinions of the Church.

(Number of words: 666. Demonic post!)



Since it’s a whole new year, I’ve decided that I might as well start on a new blog. The problem with blogs though, is that I never actually keep one for more than a year. In fact, I have a few blogs scattered all over the internet, none of them really written in. The longest I’ve actually kept a blog would be around… at least three months, and that’s on livejournal under my real name. I might have continued writing in it if my mother hadn’t found it; I prefer to keep my privacy, and  I would rather avoid people I know reading my blog. Especially if I want to write about them.

Anyway, the main reason why I’ve started blogging again is because I need a place to vent. I’m normally rather quiet with my family, unlike my brother, mainly because every time I talk, my family members would tell me that I’ve already said what I had wanted to say, and I can never remember whether I told people certain information before or not. Hence, to avoid embarrassing myself any further, I’d rather not talk, especially if the information I have is not relevant to the topic at hand, and it seems that none of my family members are interested in the topics I’m interested in.

And, I do need a place where I can air my views, because if I don’t, everything will just build up, until I end up with a horrible mental condition or something (budding Psychology student here). If I keep everything inside, it would be much harder for my ego to balance my superego (where all my conscious thoughts gather, and that is where I would start to go crazy. It’s for my mental health, really, though I wouldn’t mind it if a similar-minded person came across my blog.

Which leads to my next point: quiet time. This is the second reason why I want to keep a blog. According to my pastor at Bartley Christian Church (even though I attend Wesley Methodist now, I’m still considered a member of Bartley, since I never officially transfered), it would be much easier to remember the blessings and teachings of God when I actually write it down and review it from time to time. It’s extremely tedious, yes, but my relationship with God is at an all time low right now. I’ve been an Agnostic before, but now, I feel I know too much to go back to what it was like previously, especially since I wasn’t very happy at all then. According to Switchfoot’s “This Is Home”, I can’t go back to what things were.

Either way though, my views on religion is still extremely shaky, so it would be better for me to write them all down that just keep them in my head, it’ll be much easier to track them. Just in case they change or anything like that, though I highly doubt they would.

So… what have I been up to? Not much really, except that today had been rather terrible. Not only did I wake up late for Molecular and Cell Biology, my overzealous immune system just had to act up in an unwarranted case of hay fever. During dinner, I was rather rude to my grandparents, though I did make it up to them later by being extra nice. Though for some reason what I said to them still resonates in my mind. Must be the guilt, I guess.

Anyway, it’s late now, and I have to go back to sleep. I’ll write more later in times to come.